Episode 2 of Deep Rogue Ram is up. Let me say first, Internet, how amazing it was to watch you zip that weathergirl video around last week. Our friend Nathan called it “the most successful political web vid to come out of Canada”. I don’t know exactly how one would quantify such a thing, but we were ecstatic at the response. Thank you.

The team is back this week with another video, this time not about climate or environmental issues. Instead we’re featuring a piece written and performed by our friend and collaborator Mohammed Kashif Pasta, who is Muslim — and whose birthday is coming up on Tuesday.

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Here’s Kashif’s actual ID. Happy birthday, buddy!

As always, you can follow Deep Rogue Ram’s antics on our Tumblr page, on Facebook, Twitter, or at DeepRogueRam.com.

Thanks for tuning in!

Yes, yes, Quebec is going to the polls to possibly elect some separatists today, and the Democratic National Convention kicks off in Charlotte, and I understand some people are playing tennis.

But also, our little satire show, slippery with amniotic fluid, is taking its first halting cloven-hoofed steps down from the mountain redoubt where it has been gestating.

Deep Rogue Ram, as we have chosen to call this beast, is a sheep unlike the others. Bred in the freedom-loving air of rugged Western Canada, its aim is to liberate its comrades through cheeky web videos and the like, uploaded weekly.

Here’s the first skit, in which a weather presenter, appalled at the unprecedented melting of the polar ice caps last week … well, goes rogue:

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Starring Pippa Mackie. Written by Heather Libby.

As you can see, I decided to really stretch myself in the acting department.

So why satire? Some friends and I tested the waters a bit earlier this year with the “Ethical Oil” puppet rap. We stumbled across what we think is an appetite for morale-boosting content that is factual and at least a bit funny. And while there are some fine satirists working in Canada, arguably the best are working in the States, and there are still issues in both countries that aren’t getting nearly the attention they deserve.

Last week we watched the Republicans officially lay hands on their presidential candidate, Mitt Romney, who then mocked Barack Obama in his acceptance speech for taking rising sea levels seriously. Literally the same week that the arctic ice cap melted more than in any summer on record. I know these people hate science, but come on. This is basic beer cooler physics.

The thing is, Mitt Romney’s not stupid. By Republican standards, he’s suspiciously open-minded. But as he made his way down the aisle in Tampa (only a few feet above the current sea level), he stopped for a handshake with David Koch. David and his brother Charles are the infamous oil-baron Koch brothers, credited with bankrolling the Tea Party and fuelling the debate around global warming.

The handshake was affirmation that the Koch brothers and many donors like them will be doing everything in their considerable power to get Romney elected — who again, is not stupid. Politico reports the Koch network is planning to spend $400 million during this election, an investment they describe as “free speech“. (That’s roughly 20 times the limit for an election campaign in Canada. There are entire nations with smaller GDPs.)

If our focus is Canadian media and politics, why does Deep Rogue Ram care whose hand Romney shakes in Tampa? For starters, Koch Industries is massively invested in the Alberta oil sands, and has been for 50 years. They also do their bit to shape Canadian policy and politics — employing lobbyists and even donating half a million dollars to the Fraser Institute think tank in Vancouver. Their foundations also train Canadians.

Broadly speaking, Canada is home to many of the same entities and ideologies as our southern neighbour, and now similar tactics and strategies are seeping into our political campaigns and public conversation.

We think more has to be done on all fronts to hold some of this stuff up to the light — and sometimes to ridicule. This is not to dismiss the vital daily work of serious journalists and researchers, organizers and activists, or actual comedians. Rather we hope to add to what they’re doing, and hopefully have a few laughs along the way.

I’ll still be working on documentary projects and brow-furrowing articles, but I think it’s a good time to try this out, too.

You can follow Deep Rogue Ram on Tumblr or Facebook or Twitter or, you know, the Internet.

New video next week!

The National Energy Board’s environmental review panel on Enbridge’s proposed Northern Gateway pipeline is coming to BC’s two largest cities, Vancouver and Victoria.

But if you didn’t register before October 6th, 2011, it’s too late to sign up.

“An oral statement allows you to provide the Panel with your knowledge, views or concerns on the project,” according to the Joint Review Panel. It’s supposed to be 10 minutes or less.

Given that cabinet can override the panel’s decision anyway, this whole environmental review process is mostly symbolic. Still, I would have liked to exercise this small bit of agency as a citizen and had my voice entered into the public record.

After all, here’s just a sample of the things that have happened since October 6th, 2011. Actually, all of this has happened since May:

- Three pipelines ruptured and spilled in Alberta in less than a month, including Enbridge’s Athabasca pipeline, which dumped 1,450 barrels of heavy crude onto farmland near the town of Elk Point.

- Enbridge’s Line 14 burst in Wisconsin, spilling 1,200 barrels and drawing flak from the U.S. Pipeline and Hazardous Materials Safety Administration.

- The U.S. National Transportation Safety Board absolutely slammed Enbridge over its handling of the 2010 spill in Michigan, where more than 20,000 barrels of heavy oil sands crude gushed into the Kalamazoo river for 17 hours before the pipeline was shut off. The NTSB compared Enbridge to the Keystone Kops.

- Former federal environment minister David Anderson announced in July that he opposes the pipeline.

- The premier of BC, Christy Clark, imposed her own conditions on the project, including “world-leading” marine and land spill response. Clark then got in a huge fight with Alberta premier Alison Redford over royalties.

- Enbridge launched multi-million dollar marketing campaigns in June and August, trying to sway public opinion on the pipeline.

- Dan Murphy, a cartoonist for the Vancouver Province, says his Enbridge spoof was yanked after the company threatened to withdraw advertising dollars from Postmedia, the Province’s parent company.

- As I reported in July, Enbridge skipped the public hearings in Shearwater, BC that were supposed to make up for testimony cancelled in April after a bogus security scare. The Heiltsuk First Nation and the RCMP maintain that JRP and Enbridge Staff were never in any danger in the first place.

- Enbridge was caught deleting 1000 square kilometres of islands from its animated depiction of the Douglas Channel, which tankers would have to navigate year-round.

- The Joint Review Panel cancelled hearings in Calgary, Edmonton, Hartley Bay and Bella Coola.

- A few days ago, the United Church decided to publicly oppose the pipeline. This comes after KAIROS released its own “ethical reflection” on Northern Gateway.

- Sunday we found out that the Department of Fisheries and Oceans can’t complete its assessment of the hundreds of streams and waterways the pipeline would cross — at least not before the December 2013 deadline set by the federal government — because the federal government cut DFO’s budget.

All these issues are of legitimate concern to people living in Vancouver and Victoria. All these issues came on the radar after the JRP’s cutoff date for public participation in the pipeline hearings. Any of these issues, alone or in combination, could change somebody’s mind about the project — or inspire them to deliver an oral statement to the panel.

As Rick Mercer pointed out, wanting to have an adult conversation about a watershed moment in Canadian energy policy doesn’t make you a radical. It makes you a responsible citizen.

For the Joint Review Panel not to offer that opportunity now to residents of Vancouver and Victoria further delegitimizes the entire federal environmental review process.

Benjamin Fleischhauer and his 48cm, hand-straightened Bianchi.

A quick story about the Internet.

I was biking home up Venables last night around 1AM when I found this bike lying in the middle of the road, with the back wheel locked to the frame. There was nobody in sight, so I picked it up and took it home.

Put it up on Craigslist this morning and you guys passed it around all over the place on Twitter and Facebook. Sadly, a bunch of people got in touch but their stolen bikes didn’t match. Good luck, stoic theft victims. Eventually Ben’s co-worker spotted the ad and sent him the link.

I got an email from Ben saying:

Hi,

If it’s a navy blue 48ish cm Bianci road bike, with an orange Kryptonite evolution normal/large sized lock then you found my bike.

It has a big rusty rack on the front that looks and is homemade, a brown old leather seat with possibly a plastic bag still underneath it.   And the tires are Continental Gator Skins

It was ghost locked in front of Wallace Machine shop, I was in there for 3 minutes to retrieve an old bicycle part and when I came out my bike was gone.

I too had a bike stolen in broad daylight, back before social media was really a thing. I chased the thief down an alley, lobbed a chunk of brick at him and actually knocked him off, but by the time I ran up to him he managed to get away. It was traumatic and weird. The police couldn’t help. I knew it was gone for good.

I’m glad the person who grabbed Ben’s bike was lazier than my thief. And I’m glad we have the Internet!

Something silly to post today. I entered my friend Evan in a Japanese hot dog eating contest as a joke. His name was drawn out of a hat and he got the call on Tuesday. He spent all week training relentlessly and today, tested his mettle. We made a short (mock?) doc depicting his quest.

If you’re squeamish, you might want to skip the last 5 seconds of the video.

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Remarkably, this turned into a major media event. The Vancouver Sun and Province were there, along with the Metro paper and the Richmond Review. CBC, CTV and Global sent TV crews. I spotted Fairchild Radio. There was even a correspondent from Xinhua, the Chinese state broadcaster. So Evan should soon have about 1.3 billion new fans.

Our video included, that’s a lot of free marketing for Japadog.

Thanks very much to Aaron Ross & The Boom Booms, as well as Nigel, Josh & Kent of Friends With The Help (download their excellent new LP for free here), for the use of their music.

Hello from the BC Central Coast. Look what I found on the beach!

Keep oil tankers, and rusty hair clippers, off the BC Coast.

We’re here working on a few things this summer: youth video workshops, a forthcoming multimedia project for the Tyee Solutions Society, and this:

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You can watch the first two instalments of the film (5 minutes each) right here: http://www.reelhouse.org/bintaro/

We’re also collecting donations so we can keep following the Northern Gateway story. If you want to hear stuff and meet people you just won’t see in the papers, we’d really appreciate the support.

Thanks!

UPDATE: Here’s a link to my conversation with Sean Holman on Public Eye Radio, broadcast on CFAX 1070 out of Victoria last Saturday. We talked about End Of The Line just after 8:30AM: http://publiceyeradio.libsyn.com/public-eye-radio-july-15-2012

How many combat shotguns are there under my bed? Thanks to new laws, none of your beeswax.

This article originally appeared at TheTyee.ca

“Six, seven, eight, nine … where’s number ten? Jesus Christ.” Tony, our bearded Italian-Canadian instructor, stomps past us and out the door. Through the mangled venetian blinds, we see him yelling across the parking lot. He stomps back inside. “Smoking in his car. Unreal.”

Colin, early 50s, thinning hair, in red lumberjack flannel, wanders in with glazed eyes. He’s been baked for two days. “Gosh, sorry fellas. I uh … didn’t … well, sorry.” He’s holding a 1-litre fruit smoothie. Tony is on the other side of the room, holding the door to the range open. “Come on guys, let’s go!” On the bench is a row of shiny black handguns, waiting for us.

Welcome to gun school.

What’s your name and why do you want a firearms license?

That’s the first question they ask at the Canadian Firearms Academy (“Academy” is somewhat grandiose for a two-room rental unit in a central Surrey strip mall, but hey, that’s what it says on the printout taped to the door). Why are we here?

One guy has a police officer son, and would like to bond more as a family.

Another guy has an uncontrollable jitter and a strong desire to go hunting.

Another guy, having stepped out of a brand-new black BMW, expresses in precise, Korean-accented English his interest in target practice.

Another guy (yes, it’s all guys) says from under his white toothbrush moustache: “My name is Bob. Because it’s my right!”

My own reasons are a blend of the above. Certainly I want to harvest my own meat. I’d rather shoot an animal and watch it die on the ground than eat drive-thru burgers. Of course it’s fun to shoot targets, too. But keep asking and you might get an answer like Bob’s. It’s my right. Why shouldn’t I? Luckily, there’s never been a better time to be a Canadian gun owner.

Click here to continue reading at TheTyee.ca